Feeling detached

[arasees]

Is it normal to feel a bit detached at the beginning of pregnancy? I don't remember feeling this way at all with my first, but I am so nervous about getting too attached and too excited "just incase". I am only about 5 wk 2 days or something like that pregnant and even though I feel totally pregnant and have told a ton of people, I am trying not to think too much about the fact that I actually am.

[HeavenLeigh]

I think it's a second pregnancy thing. With my first I had the STRONGEST bond with him the exact moment I found out I was preg. With the second, not so much. I was on the pill and was in complete shock, scared to death, never wanted another baby, etc... I came around tho and a bond formed. There's always that "what if" in the back of your mind but "what ifs" will drive you insane. If something were to happen you would be just as devestated as you would if you weren't trying to detach yourself. What you're feeling is normal. When I found out about the twin that I lost, I knew I was going to lose it but it still hurt. I hadn't known about it for very long before I lost it. It hurts more now when I look at my baby knowing they were identical. He brings me so much joy, I know the other would have too. What hurts me most of all, detaching myself. I hope the poor baby knew I loved and wanted him. I'll never be able to hold him and tell him but I think of him often and hope he knows.

[jana]

Ara, I felt like that with my second pregnancy after something went wrong with the first. I think it's natural, even if you haven't had a miscarriage, to be a little wary and nervous that something might happen.

[Deana]

with my 2nd, I had a hard time finally getting a bfp (test from the dr was 'inconclusive') so I felt like like I had to bury any hope or joy. Even after it was completely confirmed that I was truly pg, I didn't have the same excitment or crazy love that I did with my first. But I remember taking a huge shift after I was in the 2nd tri - I totally fell in love with her. I just think it takes time to let it all set in. Also, and I don't mean for this to sound bad but, when you're expecting your second, you kind of know what some of the challenges are... which makes you happy but yet also a bit more apprehensive, I guess.
I think what you are experiencing is totally normal. Any pregnancy is a huge life changing moment, and change is hard to deal with sometimes.

ETA: I think it's a little bit easier to 'go about with your business' with your second. You have so much going on, and you've already been through the 'firsts of pregnancy', it's maybe just not as monumental. Not that it isn't exciting and wonderful but there's a little bit of 'been there done that', lol.

[B'sgirl]

I wouldn't say I feel detached, but I don't focus on it as much. Time is just flying. I guess it's because it's not all brand new this time, but of course I am excited.

I hope the poor baby knew I loved and wanted him. I'll never be able to hold him and tell him but I think of him often and hope he knows.

I'm sure he knows, K!

[jessilee82]

I also felt that way with my second pregnancy. I was so busy with life I didn't feel "bonded" until the first time I felt him move. Which was WAY sooner than with my first. Don't worry, it'll come.

[Margarita]

I agree with D. I felt a little bad about not being able to bask in my second pregnancy, but I simply didn't have the time. When you have a toddler to take care of, it's different. However, that doesn't mean you will love the second baby any less. I know that for a fact.

[Caolen]

Gosh i was really attached as soon as i found out but i was really worried and scared just incase something went wrong, due to family history it was a strong possibility but even know i knew that and wanted to wait just incase i also wanted to scream it out to the world XD. it was a amusing time i told my mum instantly even before i found out i said i felt weird my mum on the other hand knew i was pregnant before i found out because my moods changed rofl