Scared of the dark?

[anon]

I guess I'm not really scared of the dark. I'm scared of being alone in the dark. My husband has to take a business trip next week and I am terrified of being alone during the nights that he's gone. I have only stayed home alone a few times and I never get any sleep. I am terrified of every sound that I hear and convince myself that someone is trying to break in.
I wish that I had the option of having someone stay with me but there really is nobody. I also don't want to pack up and go somewhere else because it throws everything off balance.
Does anyone have any tips for making the nights less frightening?

[Deana]

I hate it when my husband travels, for that exact reason. I spook myself. I usually end up sleeping with the tv on - for some reason that offers some comfort.
I try to tell myself that when I get paranoid, it is just my anxiety talking. Sorry that I don't have much great advice... I think this is a pretty common issue though.

[shan]

Night lights. I am really anxious person at night. Even with my husband around, I tend to freak out about things at night. Do you have any pets? Maybe you could borrow a dog from one of your friends/family? Dogs are great to have around because they can hear a lot better than humans. If he travels a lot I would go adopt a puppy. Might not give you protection and piece of mind next week, but when it is older it will give you plenty.

[CC21]

I freak myself out too! I hate when DH is away. I usually go to bed earlier than usual just so I'm not out in the open where someone could peek in the windows at me. (How paranoid right??)

If you don't have a dog, I don't know that I would recommend it. They can tell you are tense and tend to make things worse. Mine will bark and growl at every little noise which freaks me out even more.

My advice - feed the kids (if you have any) earlier and get them in bed so you can get around earlier too. Go to bed early. Sleep with the tV on if you need to.

[IUgrad02]

My dog and cat are my savior when my husband is away!!!! I can't be in the house alone without some other living creature to keep me company. My family lives an hour away, so I sometimes go see them when he is gone for business, or I stay here alone. I make sure every door is locked about 9 times, then I leave outside (and maybe some inside) lights on that I would normally turn off when he's here... just b/c I want people to know someone is home and *awake* -- even if I'm not. I also leave the TV on in my bedroom all night when I'm home alone. I am just as bad as you are saying you are.... I have always been a pretty dependent person and hate being alone all night.

BTW, my mom lived out in the country w/ four small children while my dad worked midnights, and she said she was terrified. For her, the dog was also the biggest helper... we had a German Shepherd when I grew up, and she liked knowing that his bark was so scary that people wouldn't dare come near. She said she also sat on the porch at night and read her book to help her get over the fear of the dark. We lived in the woods, and I wouldn't have done that if it were me b/c I would have been way too nervous out there, but she said it worked for her!!! She said once she saw that there wasn't anything out there to be afraid of, she was just fine.

Hang in there! You're not the only one.

[HeavenLeigh]

I was terrified when I first seperated from my now ex-husband. I was married young and had NEVER been alone, much less alone at night. I also jumped at every sound, but adjusted pretty fast.
Are you scared of someone breaking in on you?

Here are some things that help me when I get worried durning the night

leave the tv on
turn music on
take a warm bath
sip on wine
think about something funny or something you're looking forward to
talk on the phone

If you are worried someone will come in on you....

leave the porch lights on
leave an extra light in the house on
sleep w/ the phone, and cell phone, beside you
leave the livingroom tv on
turn the security system on, if you don't have one---you could print off some very real looking "security system stickers" that you could put on the doors.
don't tell anyone that DH will be gone
if you absolutely trust someone that lives close by, ask them to please keep an eye on your house at night
get a weapon--I am scared of guns, so I have a big knife and a baseball bat
lock your bedroom door at night
have a friend come over the first night for a girls "slumber party". Rent some movies, order a pizza and forget all about being lonely and scared.

GL, you'll be just fine....and will probably enjoy being alone more than you think

[KeelyKay]

I'm a major chicken when it comes to being home without DH. He is out of town a lot, so I'm getting used to it (sort of), but I still hate him being gone at night. I scare myself to no end, and our little dogs don't help at all. They'll bark at a leaf moving, so they keep me on pins and needles. Snuggling G gets me through the night.

DH actually bought timers for a few of our lamps, so they go on and off randomly (on for around an hour at a time) through the night when he's out of town. They really ease my mind.

[jessica]

I have found for myself sometimes the TV can freak me out more as I'll hear stuff on the TV and then think its real and not on the TV. In those cases I prefer it to just be quiet. I have a monitored alarm which gives me some piece of mind too.

I'd drink some wine or take a benadryl or something to help get some sleep.

Definitely see too if you can do something fun that you want to do that you wouldn't normally do with DH around ... like Krysti said with movies, order food in, etc. If you have a more-than-usual fun evening you may be more relaxed and in a good mood in general when it comes time to go to sleep.

[mcmommy]

Like the other moms said, I leave the outside lights on, as well as one downstairs in the house. I usually have a cup of chamomile tea too on those nights so I can fall into a deep sleep and not jump up at every little sound.

Good luck!

[IUgrad02]

Originally Posted by jessica

I have found for myself sometimes the TV can freak me out more as I'll hear stuff on the TV and then think its real and not on the TV.

That has happened to me too, so I now just leave the TV on very, very low volume. The light and action from it are enough to keep me from feeling alone... I don't keep it on loud enough to hear what is going on.

Everyone seems to feel similar here... good to know!!