But during that time when I felt like I couldn’t take anymore of the kids by myself and I thought I’d go crazy, he would come home at night and then we had our time together. I could unload on him and relax and I had his company. I wasn’t alone.

Well, now my husband is away for the first time without me and for the past 4 days, I’ve gotten a dose of single-momdom, and it’s not easy at all.  If I was a single mom, I’d have to go to work on top of solely taking care of my kids and that is a big difference. A huge difference. I don’t know how you single moms do it. When my husband comes home tomorrow, I think I might just say hi and then go running for the hills. All the single mommies, you are seriously Rock Stars!

So then I decided to make this an informational site and I posted a giant list of questions to ask your care provider, the controversies of drinking alcohol during pregnancy, planning your baby’s first birthday party,  top 10 maternity style essentials, and the embarrassing situation of asking a non pregnant woman when she’s due. Oh, let’s not forget the top 5 things pregnant women hate to hear.

Not quite sure why my focus was so set on pregnancy, but maybe I was going through a bout of baby fever at that time. It happens sometimes. It comes, it goes. I think it’s hard to imagine being completely done having kids forever, especially as my “babies” keep getting bigger. As they get bigger, things get easier in a way, but they also bring on a new set of challenges.

This year has been a challenge and I am glad to see it end. I welcome 2012 with open arms and know that it will be a much better year. Happy New Year to all of you! I wish you all a wonderful year ahead full of health, happiness and success in all that you do!

My promise to myself is to take better care of me. I will go to doctor’s appointments as recommended, continue to exercise as often as possible, eat and cook healthy for my family, go to sleep earlier and not waste time. If something is not beneficial to me or my family, I won’t do it. I will make this year successful in every way possible. I will be a more patient mother, a more encouraging wife, a better friend and a more positive person. Cheers!

One thing most parents get wrong is that they try to reason with their toddler. There is no such thing as reason and logic when it comes to two and three year olds. They are driven fully by their emotions.

Kids don’t care or listen after a while when they keep hearing the word “No”. They want what they want and get tired of being told that they can’t have this or do that. Using positive language as a tool instead of negative language will create the outcomes you want with your child while creating a strong emotional connection.

When you have that strong connection and enter your child’s world, they will feel like you understand them. There have been many times when I’ve stopped a tantrum dead in it’s tracks by simply telling my child that I “get it”. Say it’s time to get out of the tub and he’s not ready yet, I will say “I know you want to stay in the bath and play with the toys. They look really fun and I bet you like all the squeaky noises they make”. As soon as I do this, my child is instantly more calm and more willing to listen to the rest of what I have to say. I’ve connected with him on his level.

Another example would be when your 3 year old wants to cut his own food at the table. Obviously you can’t hand him over a big steak knife and risk him stabbing himself, so naturally you say “no” or ignore him and just do it for him. He gets mad and throws a tantrum. You wonder why your kid is so difficult.

All of this could have gone smoothly if you had entered your child’s world first. You could have told your child how proud you are of him for wanting to be a big boy and do things for himself. Since 3 year olds don’t really understand the logic of getting hurt, you need to just give him a safer choice where the outcomes are positive for both of you. Maybe give him a plastic knife to practice cutting or have him hold your hand over the real knife so he can participate in cutting his food.

That is just one in hundreds of examples of using effective language as a tool to radically change your child’s behavior. Communication is the first and best step to solving your parenting problems. Learn the best way to talk to your toddler.

Does anyone know where I can go to get my infant car seat turned around? My son is only 13 months, but he is so long that his legs are going up the back seat! I’m afraid if G-d forbid I had an accident, his legs would be broken!!!

Car seat safety is a huge issue that for some crazy reason, a lot of mothers seem to disregard. There is a reason the minimum age for forward facing car seats was changed to 2 years old. I hear so many mothers worrying about their children being too tall and their legs are bent. Really???

There is a great saying, “Rear facing, cast it; forward facing, casket”. You decide! Broken legs can be fixed, a broken neck cannot.

Here are the recommendations and safety information from the American Academy of Pediatrics.

“Marcus didn’t come over today. ‘Parently he went to his grandma’s house.”

“’Parently my preschool teacher was sick today because a different teacher was in my class.”

He used it excessively and I thought it was so cute. I wondered where such a small child would learn to say that. Apparently I didn’t have to look very far, because that very night my husband pointed out how frequently I use the word “apparently.”

If only everything my children learned from me was that cute…

I work hard to talk to my children about how to handle situations that make them angry. We talk about what our bodies and voices should be doing when we are angry and role-play the correct responses. But no matter how well I teach my son he still seems to have anger-management issues. He becomes a raging maniac the minute his sister gets a hold of his Batman action figure. Why is that?

Apparently his mother has anger-management issues as well. (The phrase “stomp, stomp, SLAM!” would ring a bell for my siblings.)

That is what my child remembers when he gets angry. All of the fantastic lessons in the world will mean nothing unless I model the appropriate behavior for him when I am the one who is angry. Lectures may work sometimes, but Example is the most powerful teacher.

My dad is famous for his lectures and the family has a running joke of calling out a number every time he starts one (lecture number 12, quit picking at each other during church). Trying to remember them all would be like memorizing the Encyclopedia Britannica.

Does that mean my dad didn’t succeed at teaching me? Absolutely not. The things I learned from him are the things I watched him do every day: to love learning, to make time to play with my children, and much more. Some of those may have found their way into the Lecture List, but that’s not why I remember them.

It doesn’t matter what you want to teach your children. They will do what you do, both the good and the bad. Do you want your child to love math? He must see you studying math—and liking it. Do you want your child to be compassionate? He must see you show compassion. Do you want your child to control his temper? You must control your own, even when he is driving you crazy. Especially when he is driving you crazy!

If you are aware of what you are teaching your children by your example you will have a wonderful opportunity to influence them in ways you never imagined! Not only will those little mirrors be reflecting something you can be proud of, you will be learning and growing with them and will improve your own character in the process. Apparently.

Michelle L. King is the author of “Barrett’s Unusual Ice Cream Party”, and “Mr. Percy’s Mysterious Glasses” which will be released early 2012. She has a degree in Early Childhood Education and a former Kindergarten teacher. She lives in Logan, Utah with her husband and three children. You can find her work at www.MichelleLKing.com.

Really, your baby is the best. I want you to know this because it’s true. She is smart and beautiful and just the greatest thing since sliced bread….to you (and the grandparents, of course), that is! But really, your baby is awesome! All babies are awesome. Every new parent thinks their child is the best thing in the world. Everyone thinks their baby is extremely smart. Everyone thinks their baby is the absolute cutest baby on earth. Everyone thinks they love their baby the most. This is great and this is normal, but please realize that you are most likely the only one that feels this way about your own baby. Everyone else feels this way about theirs. The sooner you understand this, the better off you’ll be. Other mommies don’t like to hear you brag about how Einstein(ish) your baby is. He knows how to use the iPhone? Awesome. I bet their kid does too. If not, I guarantee he does something equally amazing that yours can’t do yet. It’s ok to talk about the cool things your kiddo does, but try not to go overboard to your other mommy friends. They will be rolling their eyes and commenting behind your back. Which brings me to my next point.

Mommies are Judgmental

You probably already know this if you are a mommy because you catch yourself doing it, don’t you? You see a mom feeding her kid Doritos and think to yourself “ugh, I will NEVER feed my child that garbage!”

(I just learned an interesting tidbit about Doritos – they have MSG in them. Children have a really hard time digesting MSG. Therefore I actually will try my very hardest to never feed them to my kids (notice how I didn’t say NEVER? I just said I’ll try. That’s another thing I’ll get to later) .

So back to the judgmental thing. How about that mom totally ignoring her screaming child at the playground? Are you wondering when she is going to notice and what is she going to do about it? Or how about the mom that is still breast feeding at a point that you find to be too late? Or the mom who never breastfed at all and gives her baby formula? Or the parents who co-sleep? Or the braggers? Or the…..you get the idea. My point is, be prepared to be judged about pretty much everything you do as a mom.

You will get a TON of unsolicited advice. You will feel insecure about some of your choices. Please try to remember, though, that YOU are the mommy and YOU make the final decisions. You know your child best and no one else can tell you what the right thing to do is. It’s wonderful to get advice and opinions from your well-meaning friends and family and I definitely encourage you to do so. Ask for help, ask for advice, do your research, but when it comes down to it, you have to be confident in your decisions and realize that no matter what you do, there will always be some people who think it should be done differently.

Never Say Never

We all idealize motherhood and how we will be as mothers….before we actually enter this realm. More than we know what we actually WILL do, we seem to have a big list of things we will NEVER do. I’ll tell you right now, you can throw out the list. Just kidding…sorta. It’s great to have an idea of the way you’d like to raise your child(ren) and the important values you plan to utilize in your parenting. The truth of the matter is that you can’t plan it out. Things happen, your knowledge expands, your experiences widen, and sometimes you change your mind. This is ok. This is good. It’s called growth! The reason I’m telling you this is so that you can keep an open mind and not be disappointed in yourself if you end up doing some of those things you said you’d never do. I’ve been there, done that (and I’m sure you’ll judge me on it). It’s not so bad.

What are some other things all you seasoned moms out there would like to tell the newbies? Please share!

There is no way to be a perfect mother, but a million ways to be a good one.

We can all do things differently and still be wonderful moms. Just like our children are all different. Each precious child is an individual and they will do things differently, learn things differently and see the world differently than their peers.

I know it is hard to do, but we must not compare our children to others. It’s not fair to them and it’s not fair to us. It will only lead to unnecessary pressure, anxiety and disappointment.

Today, I heard a mother ask for a tutor for her 2 year old. What in the world does a two year old need a tutor for? The mom wanted to hire a tutor to teach her child the alphabet and colors. This is absurd!!!! Clearly the mother is comparing her child to other kids the same age instead of just working with the child and letting the child develop these skills naturally in her own time. It will happen….all in due time.

We all know that networking is important for business. Meeting new people, making an impression, and building relationships with potential clients is the best way to let people know you are out there. It doesn’t matter what your profession is, if people don’t know you exist, you won’t get business. One of the best ways to secure a face-to-face connection is to exchange business cards with new acquaintances.

Business cards are the best way to make sure that potential clients and associates have your contact information. They state your name and the important contact information that can easily be forgotten when you simply introduce yourself verbally. Providing a business card ensures that people will remember your name, while making them feel at ease with contacting you in the future if they are in need of your services.

Everyone expects a Lawyer or a Real Estate Agent to carry around a business card, but most people wouldn’t think of a babysitter having one. Think about how that would set a babysitter a part from the pack if she handed the moms at the gym or the preschool one of her babysitting business cards! As a mother of two young children myself, I am always on the lookout for good help and would welcome the opportunity to collect a few cards from potential babysitters. It is important to be original since a business card is a representation of yourself and holds a lasting impression. If it stands out from the crowd, clients will remember you and grab for your card out of their collection.

One day I was browsing the internet and came across exactly what I was in need of. Something to organize all of the papers. Something to keep my table clear and the papers in order. It was The Homework Caddy! This thing is SO smart! It has a dry erase board to write down important events or notes, storage for pens, pencils, scissors, ruler, glue sticks, paper clips, basically everything you would possibly need to complete any school assignment! There are large pockets for papers, library books, art projects, and whatever else you need to put in there.

It hangs behind a door or on a wall, which is very convenient, but I actually had a really hard time finding a good spot for it. It’s big, but considering everything it encompasses, it needs to be. The problem for me is that we have a 2-story house and all homework assignments are done downstairs. I wanted to put The Homework Caddy downstairs, but just couldn’t find a spot. I did find a perfect space upstairs, though, right between my 2 sons’ rooms. My boy who actually gets homework is only in 1st grade so I’m sure as he gets older and more independent with school work, it will work even better up there.

If you are having a problem with clutter and not sure what to do with all of those papers that come home from school in your child’s backpack, I definitely recommend The Homework Caddy. It’s a great product and comes in 4 different styles. Special discount for BabyTalkers readers:

For an extra 15% off, use code: BHC1011 between October 20-27!