But during that time when I felt like I couldn’t take anymore of the kids by myself and I thought I’d go crazy, he would come home at night and then we had our time together. I could unload on him and relax and I had his company. I wasn’t alone.

Well, now my husband is away for the first time without me and for the past 4 days, I’ve gotten a dose of single-momdom, and it’s not easy at all.  If I was a single mom, I’d have to go to work on top of solely taking care of my kids and that is a big difference. A huge difference. I don’t know how you single moms do it. When my husband comes home tomorrow, I think I might just say hi and then go running for the hills. All the single mommies, you are seriously Rock Stars!

“Marcus didn’t come over today. ‘Parently he went to his grandma’s house.”

“’Parently my preschool teacher was sick today because a different teacher was in my class.”

He used it excessively and I thought it was so cute. I wondered where such a small child would learn to say that. Apparently I didn’t have to look very far, because that very night my husband pointed out how frequently I use the word “apparently.”

If only everything my children learned from me was that cute…

I work hard to talk to my children about how to handle situations that make them angry. We talk about what our bodies and voices should be doing when we are angry and role-play the correct responses. But no matter how well I teach my son he still seems to have anger-management issues. He becomes a raging maniac the minute his sister gets a hold of his Batman action figure. Why is that?

Apparently his mother has anger-management issues as well. (The phrase “stomp, stomp, SLAM!” would ring a bell for my siblings.)

That is what my child remembers when he gets angry. All of the fantastic lessons in the world will mean nothing unless I model the appropriate behavior for him when I am the one who is angry. Lectures may work sometimes, but Example is the most powerful teacher.

My dad is famous for his lectures and the family has a running joke of calling out a number every time he starts one (lecture number 12, quit picking at each other during church). Trying to remember them all would be like memorizing the Encyclopedia Britannica.

Does that mean my dad didn’t succeed at teaching me? Absolutely not. The things I learned from him are the things I watched him do every day: to love learning, to make time to play with my children, and much more. Some of those may have found their way into the Lecture List, but that’s not why I remember them.

It doesn’t matter what you want to teach your children. They will do what you do, both the good and the bad. Do you want your child to love math? He must see you studying math—and liking it. Do you want your child to be compassionate? He must see you show compassion. Do you want your child to control his temper? You must control your own, even when he is driving you crazy. Especially when he is driving you crazy!

If you are aware of what you are teaching your children by your example you will have a wonderful opportunity to influence them in ways you never imagined! Not only will those little mirrors be reflecting something you can be proud of, you will be learning and growing with them and will improve your own character in the process. Apparently.

Michelle L. King is the author of “Barrett’s Unusual Ice Cream Party”, and “Mr. Percy’s Mysterious Glasses” which will be released early 2012. She has a degree in Early Childhood Education and a former Kindergarten teacher. She lives in Logan, Utah with her husband and three children. You can find her work at www.MichelleLKing.com.

Really, your baby is the best. I want you to know this because it’s true. She is smart and beautiful and just the greatest thing since sliced bread….to you (and the grandparents, of course), that is! But really, your baby is awesome! All babies are awesome. Every new parent thinks their child is the best thing in the world. Everyone thinks their baby is extremely smart. Everyone thinks their baby is the absolute cutest baby on earth. Everyone thinks they love their baby the most. This is great and this is normal, but please realize that you are most likely the only one that feels this way about your own baby. Everyone else feels this way about theirs. The sooner you understand this, the better off you’ll be. Other mommies don’t like to hear you brag about how Einstein(ish) your baby is. He knows how to use the iPhone? Awesome. I bet their kid does too. If not, I guarantee he does something equally amazing that yours can’t do yet. It’s ok to talk about the cool things your kiddo does, but try not to go overboard to your other mommy friends. They will be rolling their eyes and commenting behind your back. Which brings me to my next point.

Mommies are Judgmental

You probably already know this if you are a mommy because you catch yourself doing it, don’t you? You see a mom feeding her kid Doritos and think to yourself “ugh, I will NEVER feed my child that garbage!”

(I just learned an interesting tidbit about Doritos – they have MSG in them. Children have a really hard time digesting MSG. Therefore I actually will try my very hardest to never feed them to my kids (notice how I didn’t say NEVER? I just said I’ll try. That’s another thing I’ll get to later) .

So back to the judgmental thing. How about that mom totally ignoring her screaming child at the playground? Are you wondering when she is going to notice and what is she going to do about it? Or how about the mom that is still breast feeding at a point that you find to be too late? Or the mom who never breastfed at all and gives her baby formula? Or the parents who co-sleep? Or the braggers? Or the…..you get the idea. My point is, be prepared to be judged about pretty much everything you do as a mom.

You will get a TON of unsolicited advice. You will feel insecure about some of your choices. Please try to remember, though, that YOU are the mommy and YOU make the final decisions. You know your child best and no one else can tell you what the right thing to do is. It’s wonderful to get advice and opinions from your well-meaning friends and family and I definitely encourage you to do so. Ask for help, ask for advice, do your research, but when it comes down to it, you have to be confident in your decisions and realize that no matter what you do, there will always be some people who think it should be done differently.

Never Say Never

We all idealize motherhood and how we will be as mothers….before we actually enter this realm. More than we know what we actually WILL do, we seem to have a big list of things we will NEVER do. I’ll tell you right now, you can throw out the list. Just kidding…sorta. It’s great to have an idea of the way you’d like to raise your child(ren) and the important values you plan to utilize in your parenting. The truth of the matter is that you can’t plan it out. Things happen, your knowledge expands, your experiences widen, and sometimes you change your mind. This is ok. This is good. It’s called growth! The reason I’m telling you this is so that you can keep an open mind and not be disappointed in yourself if you end up doing some of those things you said you’d never do. I’ve been there, done that (and I’m sure you’ll judge me on it). It’s not so bad.

What are some other things all you seasoned moms out there would like to tell the newbies? Please share!

When I got married, I was very much looking forward to starting a family with my husband and starting our life together. We waited 5 years to have children and I don’t regret that at all. However, when I did become a mother, my entire world changed. I had finally grown up and achieved what I had always dreamed about.

The amount of time that your children are young and need your full attention is such a short span of time in the scheme of life. I just can’t understand why anyone would look down upon a woman who takes on the enormous responsibility and privilege of raising her own children. I had children, I want to be the one who takes care of them. Simple as that!

My job will never be done, but as my children get older, they don’t need my time as much as they did when they were younger. The older they get, the time they need me around will get smaller and smaller. Why would I want to waste that precious time by being away from them when they are young and need me the most? It is the only time in our lives that we will have together like this. The bond you form with your kids in childhood is the basis for the bond you will have for the rest of your lives.

I can start working at any time, but I can never get that time back with my children. I’m so thankful that I have been able to spend it with them, growing with them, sharing with them, teaching them, loving them, and forming an immeasurable connection that can never be taken away.

To my favorite son, Jett: I love you the most. I love how kissable and squeezable you are. I love how outgoing and gregarious you are and how you say hello to everybody. You are so sweet and special. I love how you make me laugh and put me in a good mood. I love waking up to your voice calling me from your room and I love giving you that first big hug of the day. I love your adorable face and your adorable body. I love how you are such a fearless and confident little boy. You amaze me. You inspire me. I love how you look up to your big brother and think he is the coolest person on earth. I love to hear you say “I love you”. I love the way you speak and can’t pronounce everything correctly, but you still try. You are my absolute favorite.

Now for me, considering a third child is the biggest weight I’ve had to encounter. I’ve always wanted to have 3 kids. Since having our first, my husband has wanted to have 3 kids as well. Our #1 reason for not jumping into it is financial reasons, but I also worry about spreading myself too thin, not being able to provide enough attention and opportunities for my children, and to be honest, I wonder about how it would affect our family dynamics and even my relationship with my husband.

I just came across a book which provides selfish reasons for having more kids.

First, parents can sharply improve their lives without hurting their kids. Nature, not nurture, explains most family resemblance, so parents can safely cut themselves a lot of additional slack.

Second, parents are much more worried than they ought to be. Despite the horror stories in the media, kids today are much safer today than they were in the “idyllic” 1950s.

Third, many of the benefits of children come later in life. Kids have high start-up costs, but wise parents weigh their initial sleep deprivation against a lifetime of rewards – including future grandchildren.

Last, self-interest and altruism point in the same direction. Parents who have another child make the world a better place, so you can walk the path of enlightened selfishness with a clear conscience.

Interesting arguments, but not really enough to convince me to just “go for it”! Especially because for me personally, having children is the most selfless act possible. What are your thoughts?

1. Jeans: Denim is a must-have and can be dressed up or down. With so many different cuts and styles available, every woman can find a great-fitting pair to flatter their body. Look for jeans in a stretch fabric that feels soft and worn so they’ll be comfortable, like these secret belly slim fit boot cut maternity jeans.

2. Black Tank: Whether you layer it under clothing or wear it alone, a seamless cami like this is essential. Of course other colors work too, but our must-have pick to perfectly accentuate your bump is black!

3. Black Stretch Pants: Full-length black pants go with everything and can be worn from your first weeks of pregnancy through your first months of mommyhood. Cropped would work well too.

Maternity Dresses

4. Maxi Dress: A long, flowy, yet stylish dress is perfect maternity wear. Strapless with an empire waist looks great on stylish pregnant mamas.

5. Black Dress: Just like in every woman’s regular wardrobe, there must be a black dress in every woman’s maternity wardrobe. It’s not called a staple for nothing! A black dress like this will take you anywhere, from a dinner date with your love to an evening out with friends.

6. Bras/Underwear: Your belly is not the only thing that grows during pregnancy! You’ll need a couple of new bras to accommodate your larger-than-usual breasts. As for underwear, loose is key. There’s no need to switch to granny panties if that’s not your style. Just buy your favorites in a size or two larger and let the waistband rest under your bump.

7. A Light-Weight Sweater: Something like this jersey-knit cardigan would be perfect. The soft lines and slim-fitting bodice create a flattering silhouette.

8. Tunic: While fitted across the upper body, a tunic provides plenty of room where women need it — across the middle, to accommodate growing bellies, and in the length, to cover expanding hips and bottoms. You can go long sleeved, short sleeved or sleeveless, casual or more dressed up like this one.

9. Classic Tee: A t-shirt goes with everything from skirts to shorts to leggings or jeans. Both crew and v-neck look great as long as there’s a bit of stretch in the material to grow with you.

10. Tailored Shirt: A men’s style button-down shirt looks super sexy on a pregnant woman. You can even borrow your husband’s for a relaxed and casual look or go for a more slim-fitted one at the top with a wider shape at the bottom for a more put together feel.

Accessories are essential to snazz up your outfits as well. Chunky necklaces, funky earrings, cute shoes and hip handbags are all great choices that can continue to be worn long after your baby is born and your maternity clothes are ancient history.

1. Drooling all over themselves and everything within reach
2. Farting loudly
3. Pooping (and peeing) their pants
4. Tasting everything and only a fraction of it is actually food
5. Throwing food
6. Eating off the floor
7. Eating straight from the table
8. Using their hands as utensils
9. Getting food all over their hands and face and everything in the close vicinity
10. Burping without saying “excuse me”
11. Walking like a drunk
12. Throwing toys and making a big mess
13. Fat thighs
14. Belly rolls and double chins
15. Cellulite
16. Blowing raspberries in public
17. Sticking out their tongue at people
18. Smiling and waving at strangers
19. Grabbing things that aren’t theirs
20. Going shirtless (and pantless)
21. Wearing one-piece clothing
22. Screaming in public
23. Babbling like a crazy person
24. Grunting
25. Having messy hair
26. Going out without shoes on
27. Sticking their fingers up their own nose and that of their mother (or father or sister or brother or aunt or uncle or friend or even stranger)
28. Bathing with their siblings and friends
29. Having a permanent open-mouthed grin without looking creepy
30. Missing teeth

Wow, aren’t they lucky little creatures? I am sure there are more perks to being a baby and being able to do a lot of socially unacceptable things that us adults can’t do and if I happen to come across any today, I will add them. How about you? Can you add more to this list?