One thing most parents get wrong is that they try to reason with their toddler. There is no such thing as reason and logic when it comes to two and three year olds. They are driven fully by their emotions.

Kids don’t care or listen after a while when they keep hearing the word “No”. They want what they want and get tired of being told that they can’t have this or do that. Using positive language as a tool instead of negative language will create the outcomes you want with your child while creating a strong emotional connection.

When you have that strong connection and enter your child’s world, they will feel like you understand them. There have been many times when I’ve stopped a tantrum dead in it’s tracks by simply telling my child that I “get it”. Say it’s time to get out of the tub and he’s not ready yet, I will say “I know you want to stay in the bath and play with the toys. They look really fun and I bet you like all the squeaky noises they make”. As soon as I do this, my child is instantly more calm and more willing to listen to the rest of what I have to say. I’ve connected with him on his level.

Another example would be when your 3 year old wants to cut his own food at the table. Obviously you can’t hand him over a big steak knife and risk him stabbing himself, so naturally you say “no” or ignore him and just do it for him. He gets mad and throws a tantrum. You wonder why your kid is so difficult.

All of this could have gone smoothly if you had entered your child’s world first. You could have told your child how proud you are of him for wanting to be a big boy and do things for himself. Since 3 year olds don’t really understand the logic of getting hurt, you need to just give him a safer choice where the outcomes are positive for both of you. Maybe give him a plastic knife to practice cutting or have him hold your hand over the real knife so he can participate in cutting his food.

That is just one in hundreds of examples of using effective language as a tool to radically change your child’s behavior. Communication is the first and best step to solving your parenting problems. Learn the best way to talk to your toddler.

There is no way to be a perfect mother, but a million ways to be a good one.

We can all do things differently and still be wonderful moms. Just like our children are all different. Each precious child is an individual and they will do things differently, learn things differently and see the world differently than their peers.

I know it is hard to do, but we must not compare our children to others. It’s not fair to them and it’s not fair to us. It will only lead to unnecessary pressure, anxiety and disappointment.

Today, I heard a mother ask for a tutor for her 2 year old. What in the world does a two year old need a tutor for? The mom wanted to hire a tutor to teach her child the alphabet and colors. This is absurd!!!! Clearly the mother is comparing her child to other kids the same age instead of just working with the child and letting the child develop these skills naturally in her own time. It will happen….all in due time.

We all know that networking is important for business. Meeting new people, making an impression, and building relationships with potential clients is the best way to let people know you are out there. It doesn’t matter what your profession is, if people don’t know you exist, you won’t get business. One of the best ways to secure a face-to-face connection is to exchange business cards with new acquaintances.

Business cards are the best way to make sure that potential clients and associates have your contact information. They state your name and the important contact information that can easily be forgotten when you simply introduce yourself verbally. Providing a business card ensures that people will remember your name, while making them feel at ease with contacting you in the future if they are in need of your services.

Everyone expects a Lawyer or a Real Estate Agent to carry around a business card, but most people wouldn’t think of a babysitter having one. Think about how that would set a babysitter a part from the pack if she handed the moms at the gym or the preschool one of her babysitting business cards! As a mother of two young children myself, I am always on the lookout for good help and would welcome the opportunity to collect a few cards from potential babysitters. It is important to be original since a business card is a representation of yourself and holds a lasting impression. If it stands out from the crowd, clients will remember you and grab for your card out of their collection.

Here we focus on modern strollers.

Xplory Stokke

The Xplory Stokke Stroller is probably the most modern of the mass marketed strollers. They are also the most expensive ringing up the register at over $1,000. Some of the great features of the Stokke are:

• For the person pushing the Xplory, you can do so fully upright even for tall owners.
• A bassinet is included.
• Can face baby both ways
• Best feature is the Xplory is that the baby is higher up and can be rotated to see everything either frontwards or backwards.

View what others have to say about Xplory Stokke

UPPABaby Vista

The UPPAbaby Vista is priced in the top end of the mid-priced strollers or you could say its priced in the bottom of the high-priced strollers. The UPPAbaby has a few amazing features that even higher priced strollers don’t encompass. It is excellent for tall people, yet folds to a very small form factor compared to other strollers in the same category.

• 5 colors available, folds well
• Can face baby both ways
• A bassinet is included.
• Modern styling, fully adjustable handle even for up to people 6’6″
• Accessories are not as expensive as other companies

What others have to say about the UPPAbaby

week 1: Calendars/summer months (i.e. color calendars, read books about summer, talk about summer plans and make refreshing summer snacks and drinks)

week 2: summer safety/water safety

week 3: The Ocean

week 4: Common Cents: all about money

week 5: history of America ( for the 4th of July)

week 6: What is a stranger?

week 7: Healthy eating/healthy bodies

week 8: My Family tree

week 9: I like me! All about self esteem

week 10: friendship – what it means to be a good friend

week 11: manners matter

week 12: ready, get set, GO! Getting ready to go back to school! (work on simple things like carrying your own backpack, opening containers for lunchboxes, and creating morning routines and charts)

If you dress a child in a hurry, chances are you won’t be as gentle as you should be, or take the time to prepare her for what’s coming next. You wouldn’t like it if someone more than twice your size threw a jersey over your head without warning, or yanked your arms to force them down sleeves, or zipped up in such a hurry that it pinched your skin.

Even when a child is quite young, you can start encouraging her to dress herself. The first stage is to involve her in the process so she doesn’t feel rushed from pillar to post. Keep talking and telling her what you’re doing and what you’re going to do next.

“Now let’s put on your top. Can you put your arm in the sleeve, please? Well done. Now you try the other arm.” Lots of praise makes it go smoothly.

The second stage is to encourage more active involvement. Make it easy for your child to learn to dress himself by choosing clothes that don’t have complicated fastenings. He’s not going to be able to tie his own shoelaces or do up fiddly buttons, but he can pull up a zip or tug at a strap. Shoes that fasten with Velcro are better for young children than those with laces or buckles.

Play is another way of encouraging a child to dress herself. What else is dressing and undressing dolls all about? Or you might buy her one of those educational toys designed to help teach children basic dressing skills such as doing up buttons or tying shoelaces.

While she’s learning how to dress, things are still going to be frustrating, and frustration can turn into a tantrum in the blink of an eye. Don’t set her up for failure. Don’t just decide one day that she’s perfectly capable of doing it herself, then leave her to it and stand back ready to correct her when she gets it wrong. Show her and involve her. Put on one of her shoes, then ask her to put on the other one. Explain how to do it. “Put the strap through the buckle—that’s it! Now pull it through.”

At some stage, however, your child will be ready to leave her potty behind. Make it easy for her to adapt to using the toilet by giving her a step or stool so she can get onto it easily. Fit the toilet with a child seat so she won’t feel as if she’s going to fall through.

Take every opportunity to bracket toilet training with hygiene. Remind your child to wash his hands afterwards and see that he does. By the age of four or five, I think it’s perfectly reasonable to expect a child to wipe his own bottom. Give him wet wipes if that makes it easier. You can always check after he’s finished that he’s done it properly.

Accidents

All kids have accidents, wet their pants and even soil themselves once or twice. These kinds of accidents often happen when a child has become overexcited or too distracted to pick up on what his body is trying to tell him. When that happens, your child will be upset. Don’t make a big deal out of it. Excessive attention or comfort might eventually give a toddler the idea that accidents can have their uses. Simply treat the episode in a calm, matter-of-fact way. Tell him that these things happen, and forget about it.

You can help prevent accidents by having reasonable expectations. When a child says he wants to go, he wants to go. Take him seriously and don’t expect him to be able to wait for very long.

Sometimes a child will have an accident because she’s too lazy to take herself to the toilet or because she thinks she’s going to miss out on something that’s much more interesting. Let her know that this is not acceptable. If she’s using an accident as a stalling tactic—holding on until it’s at its most inconvenient—take that burden away from her. Take the initiative and suggest she goes to the toilet now. Before you get in the car.

Bedwetting is often a sign that you’ve left off the night-time diapers too soon. You need to see several dry ones in a row before you can leave off a diaper at night. But bedwetting can also indicate some kind of emotional upset. A strange bed is enough to set some kids off. It stands to reason that the arrival of a new baby brother or sister, a move or a bad nightmare may also lead to the same result. These are emotional issues and need to be addressed delicately and with no blame attached. Bedwetting also goes along with periods of illness.

If bedwetting is associated with a fear of the dark and the child’s reluctance to make the trip to the toilet in the middle of the night, keep the potty in the bedroom at nighttime and add a night-light.

1. Go to the gym and take DS to the kid’s club while I’m there

2. Eat less junk food and drink more water

3. Take my vitamins

4. Re-do our backyard again (basically I have to look up some paving companies and call them for estimates, decide which is the best deal, what we want to do and get it going – I am not actually going to redo the backyard with my own 2 hands)

5. Spend more time posting at Baby Talkers and Home Talkers. I know a lot of people resolve to spend less time online, but not me. I want to spend more time making quality posts and bringing new life to the boards.

6. Have more patience. I tend to lose my cool a little too often these days.

7. Pick up a new hobby. Ok, it should really just say A hobby since I don’t really have any right now. I want to find something that I enjoy doing and can be proud of my accomplishment when all is said and done.

8. Cook dinner more often. Yep, I’ve slacked in this department big time since getting pregnant and then having a baby. I have to meal plan and make grocery lists.

9. Get pregnant. Don’t get too excited – this is not an immediate feat. I just want it to happen at some point this year.

10. Do more outdoor activities. We tend to laze around on the weekends quite a bit and I’d like to take DS out more…the zoo, the beach, etc.

11. Go to the movies more. Before becoming parents, DH and I used to go to the movies at least once a week. We have literally gone twice in the past year and a half.

12. Find a good babysitter.

13. Send out Holiday Cards! Every year, I receive so many cards from friends and I feel terrible that I never reciprocate. I especially love the photo cards – that is what I plan to send out.

14. Keep in touch more. I need to call and email my brother, cousins, aunts and uncles more often. There are also certain friends that I’ve lost touch with and would love to talk/see them more often this year.

15. Stay Healthy! 2006 was a rough year….we had a car accident, a scare with my health, a scare with DH’s health, sleep deprivation and lots of colds, coughs and sore throats between DS, DH and I. We all need to take better care of ourselves and stay healthy this year.

From Scientific American:

Parents of a severely disabled girl recently revealed that they took the dramatic step of keeping their nine-year-old daughter pint-sized to, in their view, give her a better life. The child, Ashley, has a condition called static encephalopathy, a rare disorder that causes permanent brain damage. The effects on development depend on the part of the brain involved and on the severity of the damage. Developmental problems may include any of a range of disabilities such as cerebral palsy, learning disabilities, mental retardation, autism, PDD, speech delays, attention deficits, hearing and vision impairments, oral motor problems… Ashley’s parents, who live in Seattle, report their daughter has the mental capacity of a three-month old baby and cannot walk or talk; they call her “Pillow Ashley,” because she doesn’t move from wherever they put her down, usually on a pillow. These parents feed and bathe Ashley, clothe and carry her–just as they would an infant. Recognizing she would never improve, they decided to start controversial treatments three years ago that involve giving her hormones to minimize her growth. This has kept her small and made it easier to care for her and involve her in family activities. Ashley’s parents also opted for surgery to block breast growth and had her appendix and uterus removed (since she will not be bearing children) to eliminate bleeding and discomfort that might accompany a period. They began administering the hormone therapy in July 2004 through patches on the skin. Ultimately, it could reduce her adult height by 20 percent and her weight by 40 percent.

Read the rest of this story

I know as a parent of a healthy child, I can’t begin to understand what they are going through. However, I have proposed a question in the title of my post and I’m curious to know the opinions of the Baby Talker community are.

As some may know from reading Csara’s posts on the Baby Forums, our son is a slow teether. He is currently working on his molars and once again has a fever. 103 degrees to be exact.

According to the table on this website, my son should be getting his canines, but his molars haven’t come in yet so we think that’s what is bothering him.

Another website, Ask Dr. Sears, mentions that some symptoms of teething are:

1. Drooling
2. Drool Rash
3. Fever and Irritability
4. Biting
5. Nightwaking
6. Pulling on Ears (could also be a sign of ear infection.

Considering my son is qualifying in 5 of the 6 items, I highly suspect his new teeth are causing his fever. Nevertheless he is going to the doctor tomorrow just to be safe.