I was having lunch with my two sons and a friend and her son and daughter. All four kids were actually sitting down at the table, which you know if you have young children is clearly a big accomplishment.

So up walks another mom with her new baby girl and her mother (“the grandma”). They know my friend so they were chatting for a while, until the grandma says “Oh, I hope that when my daughter has her 3rd baby, it is not a boy! 3 girls is better than 3 boys! I was a teacher and when the teachers heard there were more boys in the class, we all wanted to switch classes. I HATE boys!” and the insults kept on rolling…..

I have many many issues with this conversation that was happening. The top one being, that our three boys were sitting right there!!! They are not deaf. Neither are we. I clearly was sitting there at the table eating lunch with my two boys! My friend obviously has a boy too. I was in disbelief. Did this woman actually just say that? Did she really just outwardly say that she hates boys?

I could easily make this post about how wonderful boys are, but I don’t have to do that. All of the moms of boys I know, understand the magic it is of having sons. It’s indescribable. They are amazing and wonderful and so very special, just as I’m sure girls are. The love you have for your children (and grandchildren!) should have no gender attached. It’s just pure, unconditional love. Or so it should be…

I want to just put this out there to ask people to please think before you speak! Not only do you make yourself look like a total jerk (wow, I’m being kind with that word here), but most importantly, you don’t know whose ears your harsh words may fall upon. There were 3 sweet, innocent little boys sitting there at the table who probably did not hear this bitter old woman’s damaging words, but their adoring mamas sure did.

We are all given what we are given. We don’t have a choice, but we do have the choice to have a positive attitude and an open mind. Children are resilient and stronger than we often give them credit for, but they are also very sensitive and can detect what is going on around them. I think I hope for that future child to be a girl just so that she doesn’t have to feel grandma’s dislike and disappointment towards her. On the other hand, for grandma’s sake, I hope she gets a grandson. If she gives him a chance, I guarantee he will change her mind. She’ll be eating her words and saying  ”I love boys”, because I don’t know a single mom (or grandma) of boys that doesn’t!!

Many times when you have kids, they become your shadow. Sometimes it feels like just you and your little shadow everywhere you go. Motherhood can be lonely for a new mom, but it doesn’t have to be. You’ve got your little baby. Embrace it! Seek out the friendship and camaraderie of other moms in the same position. Soon enough, your little shadow will be in the distance and you will wish they were right under your feet again.

But during that time when I felt like I couldn’t take anymore of the kids by myself and I thought I’d go crazy, he would come home at night and then we had our time together. I could unload on him and relax and I had his company. I wasn’t alone.

Well, now my husband is away for the first time without me and for the past 4 days, I’ve gotten a dose of single-momdom, and it’s not easy at all.  If I was a single mom, I’d have to go to work on top of solely taking care of my kids and that is a big difference. A huge difference. I don’t know how you single moms do it. When my husband comes home tomorrow, I think I might just say hi and then go running for the hills. All the single mommies, you are seriously Rock Stars!

So then I decided to make this an informational site and I posted a giant list of questions to ask your care provider, the controversies of drinking alcohol during pregnancy, planning your baby’s first birthday party,  top 10 maternity style essentials, and the embarrassing situation of asking a non pregnant woman when she’s due. Oh, let’s not forget the top 5 things pregnant women hate to hear.

Not quite sure why my focus was so set on pregnancy, but maybe I was going through a bout of baby fever at that time. It happens sometimes. It comes, it goes. I think it’s hard to imagine being completely done having kids forever, especially as my “babies” keep getting bigger. As they get bigger, things get easier in a way, but they also bring on a new set of challenges.

This year has been a challenge and I am glad to see it end. I welcome 2012 with open arms and know that it will be a much better year. Happy New Year to all of you! I wish you all a wonderful year ahead full of health, happiness and success in all that you do!

My promise to myself is to take better care of me. I will go to doctor’s appointments as recommended, continue to exercise as often as possible, eat and cook healthy for my family, go to sleep earlier and not waste time. If something is not beneficial to me or my family, I won’t do it. I will make this year successful in every way possible. I will be a more patient mother, a more encouraging wife, a better friend and a more positive person. Cheers!

Does anyone know where I can go to get my infant car seat turned around? My son is only 13 months, but he is so long that his legs are going up the back seat! I’m afraid if G-d forbid I had an accident, his legs would be broken!!!

Car seat safety is a huge issue that for some crazy reason, a lot of mothers seem to disregard. There is a reason the minimum age for forward facing car seats was changed to 2 years old. I hear so many mothers worrying about their children being too tall and their legs are bent. Really???

There is a great saying, “Rear facing, cast it; forward facing, casket”. You decide! Broken legs can be fixed, a broken neck cannot.

Here are the recommendations and safety information from the American Academy of Pediatrics.

Really, your baby is the best. I want you to know this because it’s true. She is smart and beautiful and just the greatest thing since sliced bread….to you (and the grandparents, of course), that is! But really, your baby is awesome! All babies are awesome. Every new parent thinks their child is the best thing in the world. Everyone thinks their baby is extremely smart. Everyone thinks their baby is the absolute cutest baby on earth. Everyone thinks they love their baby the most. This is great and this is normal, but please realize that you are most likely the only one that feels this way about your own baby. Everyone else feels this way about theirs. The sooner you understand this, the better off you’ll be. Other mommies don’t like to hear you brag about how Einstein(ish) your baby is. He knows how to use the iPhone? Awesome. I bet their kid does too. If not, I guarantee he does something equally amazing that yours can’t do yet. It’s ok to talk about the cool things your kiddo does, but try not to go overboard to your other mommy friends. They will be rolling their eyes and commenting behind your back. Which brings me to my next point.

Mommies are Judgmental

You probably already know this if you are a mommy because you catch yourself doing it, don’t you? You see a mom feeding her kid Doritos and think to yourself “ugh, I will NEVER feed my child that garbage!”

(I just learned an interesting tidbit about Doritos – they have MSG in them. Children have a really hard time digesting MSG. Therefore I actually will try my very hardest to never feed them to my kids (notice how I didn’t say NEVER? I just said I’ll try. That’s another thing I’ll get to later) .

So back to the judgmental thing. How about that mom totally ignoring her screaming child at the playground? Are you wondering when she is going to notice and what is she going to do about it? Or how about the mom that is still breast feeding at a point that you find to be too late? Or the mom who never breastfed at all and gives her baby formula? Or the parents who co-sleep? Or the braggers? Or the…..you get the idea. My point is, be prepared to be judged about pretty much everything you do as a mom.

You will get a TON of unsolicited advice. You will feel insecure about some of your choices. Please try to remember, though, that YOU are the mommy and YOU make the final decisions. You know your child best and no one else can tell you what the right thing to do is. It’s wonderful to get advice and opinions from your well-meaning friends and family and I definitely encourage you to do so. Ask for help, ask for advice, do your research, but when it comes down to it, you have to be confident in your decisions and realize that no matter what you do, there will always be some people who think it should be done differently.

Never Say Never

We all idealize motherhood and how we will be as mothers….before we actually enter this realm. More than we know what we actually WILL do, we seem to have a big list of things we will NEVER do. I’ll tell you right now, you can throw out the list. Just kidding…sorta. It’s great to have an idea of the way you’d like to raise your child(ren) and the important values you plan to utilize in your parenting. The truth of the matter is that you can’t plan it out. Things happen, your knowledge expands, your experiences widen, and sometimes you change your mind. This is ok. This is good. It’s called growth! The reason I’m telling you this is so that you can keep an open mind and not be disappointed in yourself if you end up doing some of those things you said you’d never do. I’ve been there, done that (and I’m sure you’ll judge me on it). It’s not so bad.

What are some other things all you seasoned moms out there would like to tell the newbies? Please share!

One day I was browsing the internet and came across exactly what I was in need of. Something to organize all of the papers. Something to keep my table clear and the papers in order. It was The Homework Caddy! This thing is SO smart! It has a dry erase board to write down important events or notes, storage for pens, pencils, scissors, ruler, glue sticks, paper clips, basically everything you would possibly need to complete any school assignment! There are large pockets for papers, library books, art projects, and whatever else you need to put in there.

It hangs behind a door or on a wall, which is very convenient, but I actually had a really hard time finding a good spot for it. It’s big, but considering everything it encompasses, it needs to be. The problem for me is that we have a 2-story house and all homework assignments are done downstairs. I wanted to put The Homework Caddy downstairs, but just couldn’t find a spot. I did find a perfect space upstairs, though, right between my 2 sons’ rooms. My boy who actually gets homework is only in 1st grade so I’m sure as he gets older and more independent with school work, it will work even better up there.

If you are having a problem with clutter and not sure what to do with all of those papers that come home from school in your child’s backpack, I definitely recommend The Homework Caddy. It’s a great product and comes in 4 different styles. Special discount for BabyTalkers readers:

For an extra 15% off, use code: BHC1011 between October 20-27!

Enter this beauty, The PeaPod Plus Travel Bed:

I wish I had this when my kids were younger. I bet it would have saved us all a lot of sleep, not to mention space in the trunk of our car! This puppy folds up compactly and weighs less than 7 pounds. Apparently it is super comfortable as well. According to one of my friends who has it,

You can use it with the little blow up air mattress that comes with it, if you are going to put it on the floor, or, if you have an extra bed or mattress from a fold out couch, you can put the tent right on there and you won’t need to use the blow up mattress. It is soooo great, love it..

It’s very spacious. My friend and her son both fit in there, although not enough room for them both to sleep. The manufacturer claims that it can fit up to a 6 year old comfortably. Aside from bedtime sleep, this is perfect for long day trips to the beach or park when your little one needs a nap or even just to hang out in the shade for a while.