Some tips on going from 1 child to 2.

One of my good online friends is having a baby on Monday and she is getting nervous about the adjustment from 1 to 2.  I am going to share some tips that apply to while you are in the hospital, in hopes that it well help her and anyone else in the same situation.

At the hospital:

I had DH spend as little time as possible at the hospital with me and Jett. I wanted him to be with Jax so that he didn’t feel like mommy and daddy were abandoning him to go have another baby. I actually really enjoyed the quiet time at the hospital by myself. It was really nice and it gave me time to bond with Jett 1 on  1.

I sent Jett to the nursery for a few hours during the night so I could get some sleep. As you well know, pushing out a baby is hard work and your body is exhausted. Plus we all know how “on call” you are going to be for like…..forever….so get the rest while you can. You can trust the nurses at the hospital to watch the baby for a few hours so you can sleep. Believe me, it feels great. I didn’t think I could do it, but I did and I was glad.

Have your husband, mom, dad, whoever your other child is going to be with, bring him or her to the hospital as soon as possible. Let them spend lots of time bonding with the new baby and getting lots of love and attention from mommy.  This is something that we couldn’t do. Unfortunately Jax had a cold and the nurses strongly advised against having him in close contact with the baby. This was very hard on all of us.

When your child walks into your hospital room, make sure you are not holding the baby. I think it is important to have your arms free and open wide, ready for your “big” baby to give you a huge hug and kiss. Remember he/she has been separated from you for a while and they miss you. Make him/her feel secure that mommy is still theirs.

Have big brother (or sister) bring a gift for their new sibling. Also make sure that the baby has something special for big brother/sister too.

Make a big deal about your first child being a big sibling and how special and important they are. Make sure they know that the baby is not a replacement of them, but I think it is important to also let your older child know that the baby is special and important too. Try to emphasize the bond between siblings, that they share the same mommy and daddy and that you are all a family!

A cute idea I had (after the fact) was to let your first child pick out something special for mommy when they come to the hospital. Maybe some flowers or an edible treat that they can give to you and feel proud of.

I think that basically the most important thing to do is make sure that your older child doesn’t feel left out, ignored, or replaced. Let them be involved as much as possible and make them feel as excited about the new addition to the family as you do.