Raising My Spirited Child

I’ve always known there was something different about my oldest son. He always just seemed to be “more” than other kids. There are so many words, phrases and labels that could be and have been used to describe him. Some are wonderfully complementary and some are very much not!

I know that all kids can be a handful and that all kids go through difficult stages, but unless you are the parent of a spirited child, you really can’t quite understand the magnitude of these children. This can make a mom like me feel very alone at times. It can make you feel like a failure. It can make you wonder what you’ve done wrong.  I’m not sure why it took me almost 4 years to do this, but currently I’m reading Raising Your Spirited Child. I’ve only just begun, but I already love the way the author summarizes what a spirited child is. Like I said above, they are just MORE. More intense, more sensitive, more perceptive, more persistent, and more energetic. Basically everything is a challenge. Hey, I like a good challenge, but when your entire world is tested and challenged on a continual basis every waking hour of every day (and the waking hours seem to be MORE as well), it’s pretty exhausting and overwhelming. Even the great things he is more of (in my opinion, anyway) – more loving, more enthusiastic, more entertaining, more fun, more intelligent  – can be too much to handle at times.

The problem is, most people just don’t get it, so it’s hard to relate. They don’t understand, so it’s hard to give support. Other moms pass judgment. Or they give (unsolicited) advice.  As we all know, what works for one child doesn’t necessarily work for another. Especially not the spirited kind.

It makes me feel good to know, though, that I am NOT alone. There are plenty of kids like mine and it’s not a bad thing. I just need to learn the right strategies to deal with him and how to not feel guilty for needing to just give up for a bit, once in a while. He’s worth it.