People are Fascinated with Babies in Slings!
I don’t know if it’s just around here, but everyone is totally fascinated with my baby in his sling. It’s like they’ve never seen one before. When I’m walking around the bookstore, BJ’s, the mall, the hospital (visiting my best friend), and even going to my pediatrician’s office, I am the only one wearing my baby. Everyone else is either lugging around one of the crazy, heavy infant car seats or pushing a stroller. That’s all fine and dandy, believe me I do it myself sometimes too, but wearing your baby is usually so much easier. The only problem is that people swarm towards you and want to ask you a million questions. At least people can’t breathe all over him and touch him since he’s on me. I’ve been wearing him in a peanut shell and so far we both really like it.
I also have a baby bjorn and an Ergo carrier. I tried putting Jett in the bjorn the other day and he wasn’t happy. I don’t have the infant insert for the Ergo so we haven’t been able to use that yet, but I loved using it with Jax. I can’t wait to use it again.
The other day I had Jett in his car seat on my shopping cart at the grocery store and this woman literally stuck her face in there. I was so taken aback. People have some serious nerve. Then another day I had him in a stroller at the store and some mom told her daughter who was maybe 5 or 6 years old to go check out my baby. Thanks, but no thanks. I don’t need kids exposed to all the germs in the world at school breathing on my newborn. The girl didn’t want to go alone so the mom comes with her and starts commenting on my child like I’m not even there. She says to her daughter, “oh look at the baby. He looks so uncomfortable. Is it time for him to eat?” I was like WTF lady? He was just squirming around a bit. Geez. So, I picked up my son from his stroller and ignored them. Too bad I didn’t have my peanut shell with me. I would’ve just slipped him in there to avoid the hassles.
I remember some strangers trying to "interpret" ds's cries or whatever, and while it was HIGHLY annoying (um, I know my baby better than you do), I think most of them were just trying to connect with me, yk? Like, trying to show that they have had babies, too, and we're in the same club. Or they're kinda reliving their child's babyhood (perhaps their kid's hungry cry sounded like my kid's tired cry). Some really wanted to help (because I was doing something different that they didn't understand, or they had actually noticed something valid that I had missed), and others were just obnoxious.
At the same time, though, while I usually don't say anything at all, there are times that clearly the baby needs something and mom is ignoring him/her. Like when a newborn is CLEARLY showing hunger cues (fist in mouth, rooting, etc.) and the mom refuses to acknowledge it. Or when there's a little baby in a car seat, screaming his head off in a shopping cart while mom/dad pushes it around without a glance or a word or a move to pick the baby up. It's so frustrating to see!
Just last week at the grocery store there was a woman carrying a baby (maybe 2-4m) in a Bjorn, and the Bjorn was NOT fastened! The baby was totally sliding out the bottom, and half of her face was covered by the chest support. People kept coming up to this woman (making gentle comments) because what she had done was dangerous, and she was ignoring them all. She would say things like, "oh, yeah, she's hiding!" *smile* and "she didn't want to get in the Bjorn, so I just kinda had to put her in like this." She was still relatively aware and had 1 hand on her baby, but I kept wondering if she was thinking bad things about all the people who were trying to help. Oh, and her baby seemed completely content...you'd think she could just fasten and readjust her to keep her safe once she was already in & happy.
Now I use the hotsling for shopping, usually with the 5 mos old little girl I do daycare for. I can carry her in the sling and Trey on my other hip and still hold Kyrie's hand. People are always saying "wow, you've really got your hands full", and I usually say "no, not really"! The sling makes it so easy with them!
Torin was never super duper crazy about his sling but was awesome in the Moby... my only complaint with the Moby was with all that fabric I was hot with it on. (BTW, I'm one of those people that tends to be hot easily especially with raging hormones involved.) I"m excited this next one will be born in cooler months (not July!) and I will appreciate that warmth! Hehe!
I do totally agree that people can't seem to be so pushy with them in the slings because it is like they are part of you as opposed to car seats/strollers where they will totally walk up and touch them! ACK!
With that said, there is OBVIOUSLY no way C is an unpolished mother with dirty children!! It's clear that you take great care of your children and meet their needs (and then some). So, in a case like that, I cannot fathom anyone making those comments to you. I mean, I wouldn't make comments to anyone anyway; I am just saying I REALLY can't imagine that woman thinking you were not going to feed your baby if he was hungry ---- DUH. What nerve!!!
PS my only story to add is from C's 2 week old appointment. We were sitting in the waiting room, and a Hispanic woman was trying to communicate with me (I was failing to understand), and she ended up sending her 3 or so y.o. daughter over to see my baby. I had him bundled up in his carseat (this was December), and her little girl tried to look under the blankets, but didn't get a good enough look I suppose (according to the mom), so the mother came over, ripped C's blanket off the carseat, and started petting his face. Not only was I shocked, I was upset b/c we were in the Pedi's office, and who knows why her daughter was there for a visit... she could've been very sick for all I know. NICE!!!!!! People are sometimes sooooo ridiculous.
And from what I know of Hispanic culture, it's considered unlucky to compliment a baby without touching it. I think it has something to do with drawing the evil eye by complimenting the baby, so you touch it to help ward off the bad luck. Not that I blame you for being upset, but that's probably where she was coming from. I tended to give a cultural "pass" to someone who did something like that to me/ds.
C, glad you didn't think I was implying you're a horrible, awful mother.
Oh, I hope I didn't come off as trying to imply that JANA was trying to imply that you were doing something wrong. LOL! I never thought Jana was implying that either. At all.
Anyway, yeah, I can't stand when people put their face close to or try to touch other people's babies. It's so rude. I still can't get over the story of the woman putting that baby's paci in her mouth off the floor and then back to the baby. That's so beyond disgusting.
The only story that comes to mind about B was with my own MIL! We went out to eat with my M&FIL and J's sis & BIL when B was 3 weeks old. We went to the one little hometown restaurant in the little town they live. I left B in his seat the whole time we were eatting. By the time we were done, he was getting fussy so I got him out. Trying to be the good DIL - I ask my MIL if she wants him. She takes him from me, then proceeds to get up from the table and walk him around the restaurant showing him off! She actually handed him to 3 or 4 people!!!! I was furious! I had had an extremely difficult pregnancy that resulted in him being born 4 weeks early -- technically, he should have still be in my tummy as he was only 3 weeks old! I didn't say anything to her as I didn't want to create a family feud...but I never took him out of his seat again when we went with them to eat!!
And please, cut those who look like that slack. I leave the house with my toddle and we're both bathed and neat, but somewhere between leaving our front door and the grocery store, I've gotten something on me, I've run my fingers through my hair repeatedly, and my daughter has shared something from her lunchbox with my son on the way to her school. We aren't bad parents, we just don't have time to go change and refresh. As long as everyone is healthy and happy I don't care what you think of me! Of course we live in a big enough town that if i get truly embarrassed I can switch stores, like when my son exposed my breast to a checker at a Winco.