I am midway through week 14 of my pregnancy and I am finally feeling good! Sometimes I forget I am even pregnant, but then I look down and see the noticeable belly bump that has already formed. My husband laughed at me yesterday when he noticed I was wearing maternity jeans. He said “pregnant jeans already?”. We’ve had a lot of stuff going on around here lately with a kitchen remodel and my recent obsession with preschool research that I think he often forgets that I am pregnant too. I think the biggest reminder for him is that he has barely had a home-cooked meal in the past three and a half months. Now that my appetite is coming back (and we got some awesome new kitchen appliances!), I am planning on making up for it.

I think it is very important to get your husband involved in your pregnancy. This baby is as much his as it is mine and my husband deserves to be an equal partner in this journey. Of course the fact that he wants to be, makes it so much easier. We’ve been here, done this, before so it’s a familiar path. He goes with me to the important doctor appointments. I see some dads that go to EVERY appointment. That is pretty cool. You should definitely encourage daddy to go to your doctor visits with you, especially the important ones like tests and ultrasounds and remind him to ask questions.

Another way to get daddy involved is by actually calling him “daddy” or “dad” and make sure to include him in all the decisions. Talk about your future as a family, talk about your dreams and fears. Plan ahead. From finances to vacations to sleeping arrangements to schooling to discipline. There is so much to think about and discuss. Encourage him to help you make decisions on the nursery and discuss baby names. All of these things you will be tackling together as a team when you become parents so it is natural that you should both be equally involved in the planning.

Especially first time parents, it is a good idea to attend childbirth classes together. If you plan to breastfeed, bring him to a breastfeeding class with you. Believe me, you will need your husband’s support and he will feel better knowing what to expect.

Also, let dad feel your belly while baby is moving and have him talk to his baby. While he will never feel the way you do or understand the way you, as a mom, feel both emotionally and physically, talking to him about yours and his feelings, will give you both a little insight into each other’s minds and will help you feel connected and on level ground with your pregnancy. These are the things that have worked for us. I hope they will help some of you out there, as well.