TOTW: dealing with the loss of a pet

Sadly, we recently lost our family pet, our sweet kitty. I got her shortly before my husband and I started dating when we were in college, which was about 12 years ago. She’s been with us for a long time and through many moves. From my first apartment in college to my first shared apartment with DH to my parents house and a couple more apartments and finally our current home. I am so used to having her around and seeing her in her little spots that she would find around the house.

To make it even worse, we were not home when our cat passed. We were on vacation and she was home with my brother-in-law. He called me to tell me that she was not doing well and had stopped eating. I had my parents go assess the situation and speak to the vet and we all decided that it was her time to go. My parents took her to the vet to be put to sleep. I will feel guilty about that for a long time, but it is what it is. There was nothing I could have done. I just feel so sad that I couldn’t say goodbye, but isn’t that how it often is with death?

Now my son, on the other hand, is only two and a half. He doesn’t understand the concept of death and we had never even mentioned it before. We had no need to. He is, or should I say was, very attached to our cat. He asked for her every day while we were away.

Towards the end of the trip, I finally had to start explaining to him that Janny girl would no longer be with us. I told him that she is in a better place and went to be with her mommy and daddy because we couldn’t take care of her anymore. She was too old and sick and now she is happy. I don’t know if what I said was good or bad or whatever, but it seemed to work. He understands that she won’t be coming back. He misses her and gets sad when he thinks about her because he wants to see her and pet her, but he remembers what I told him.

I think the fact that we were away made it easier on him to accept that she is gone. It was harder on me, I think, but easier on him, so for that I am grateful. My heart goes out to anyone that has had to lose a pet. I especially feel for those of you who have had to explain it to a child. How did you deal with it? How long did it take for your child to stop asking for the pet?