Makeup, fishnets, and shaving, oh my!
This week’s topic is going to be on makeup, shaving, nail polish, and certain fashion statements.
What age do you think is appropriate for your girls to start wearing makeup? Will they or are they allowed to play with makeup now for dress up games? What about your boys? Can they play with make up too?
How about nail polish? What age is appropriate to paint your kids’ nails and is it only ok for girls or can boys do it too?
When will you let your children start shaving? Is once they get unwanted hair a sufficient enough reason or do they have to be a certain age?
How about girls wearing thongs? And fishnets? There has been a bit of controversy lately about little girls wearing fishnet stockings as part of their Halloween costumes. Is that appropriate or are they just too young?
Should be an interesting discussion.
My mom just let me wear makeup when I started showing interest on my own. I figure jr. high is a good time, but it really just depends on my kid and her situation at the time. I wouldn't set a certain age. It can have a lot to do with self-esteem and I'm not about to ban it if it will help her cover unwanted blemishes or highlight her good features, or just help her feel better. I don't want her to overdo it either and look like a hooker though.
Boys, no. I just can't handle that. No on the nail polish either. Stage makeup is fine for needed occasions, but other than that, no. I generally like to allow kids to choose, but that is just too much for me.
Shaving--I think it becomes obvious when a boy is ready too. You just can't ignore the stubble growing on that chin of theirs. Girls, I suppose it's a self-esteem thing too. If she has hairy legs and doesn't like it, as long as she can man the razor she's free to shave them. I'll just make sure and explain that it won't grow back soft and light-colored anymore. She'll get nasty black stubble that means you can't ever stop shaving.
Not a fan of thongs or fishnets. I don't think little girls need any help being provocative. Well, actually the fishnets don't bother me that much, as long as the leg is covered to a certain point. It's the thongs I don't like because they are generally made to show a little, and my church teaches certain dress standards that does not encourage that.
And I hope my boys will never wear fishnets or thongs.
As far as letting boys... why not! If I'm putting on make-up and G wants some lipstick... he'll get lipstick. DH would never let him out of the house with it on, but he can play dress up too if he wants.
I wouldn't mind my kids playing with make-up for dress up. My niece is in love with getting all dressed up and having tea parties. I think it's one thing to go all out with your kids for a game, but wearing make-up regularly will have to wait until the pre-teen years and will still be limited... lipgloss is fine - eyeshadow, mascara, blush... not so fine
As far as thongs and fishnets... fishnets, no (maybe for Halloween if it comes with a costume)... thongs, if my kids are old enough to pick out their underwear, they can wear whatever they choose. If I see a thong sticking out of clothing, there will be a wardrobe change.
Shaving... whenever they feel like they need to.
How do you feel about piercings? Would you take your kids to get a piercing? I know earrings are widely accepted for little girls, but how do you feel about other piercings? Do you have any age requirements? What about a tattoo?
As far as piercings, we recently had a TOTW on ear piercing:
http://www.babytalkers.com/forums/mo...-piercing.html
and other piercings......umm, when the kids are out of my house, they can get piercings where they want to. I might not like it, but if they are independent enough to be living on their own, they can make the decision on having a piercing......and tattoo. I certainly wouldn't encourage either one, but it's ultimately up to them.
Here's where I'm a little gender biased. I would take my daughter to get her navel pierced for her 16th birthday... not before, and only if she has earned it (doing well in school/staying out of trouble/mature/responsible enough to take care of it). Gavin (and any future boys) will just have to wait until he's old enough to sign the form himself. I'm not a fan of piercings on a guy... if he decides to get them when he's 18, that's fine... I won't say a word. I just won't assist him in the process.
Tattoos... I have 3, so I'm obviously not against them. I would love to go with my kids for their first, but they'll have to be able to sign for it themselves because I won't be held responsible for a permanent decision
I don't think we'll let our boys wear make-up, even to play dress up. I just can't quite do that one.
As far as shaving, I think I started shaving in 6th grade. Maybe the end of 5th, but no earlier. My mom told me that once I started, I wouldn't be able to stop and that's what I'll tell our girls. As far as boys, I guess the same will apply - when they need to.
Fishnets - I dont' really have a problem with fishnets, I guess. It depends on the outfit and the size of the holes in the fishnets. The ones that are small/close aren't so bad. The ones with the big holes, not so much.
Thongs will be off limits until late high school. Even then, it might me on an as needed basis. Like formals when you really don't want a panty line. I just don't think it's appropriate for a young teenager to be wearing a thong.
Nail polish isn't a big deal for me either. One of our friends has painted her little girls toenails since she was a baby. I don't really care for it that early, but at age 3 or 4, no big deal.
Girls....Make-up would be okay around 6th-7th grade as long as she put it on right and didn't look hooker-ish.
Nailpolish....I think it's fine for a girl of any age to wear nail polish....as long as she understood that she couldn't stick her freshly painted fingers in her mouth before the polish has time to dry.
Fishnet stockings and thongs....um dunno on that one. The stockings solely depend on what type of costume she's wearing, no child of mine would look revealing or "sexy". Too many sicko pedophiles running around for that. Thongs are a big hell no. A child has no biz wearing butt floss IMHO. High school age--fine, but not before then.
Shaving....when it's needed. I wouldn't dare force my sons or any hypothetical daughter to walk around looking like a brillo pad. If they are insecure enough to want to shave *and mature enough to maintain and do it properly* then fine, knock yourselves out.
D actually cut his face about 2 years ago. It wasn't a bad cut and I had to laugh at him, he hasn't tried to shave since
They first time I had my eyebrows waxed was before prom my Jr. year. I did it without my mom knowing. (I'm sure she knew/figured it out, but didn't say anything) I think that's another "high school" thing. Unless it's really bad.
We gave N a makeup kit for her 3rd birthday because she loves to watch me do mine. I had a really hard time finding one because I didn’t want any actual makeup. Just plastic stuff for pretend. I think she’s too little even for the pretend stuff yet. As for wearing makeup in public, definitely not before middle school. I will have to see how I feel once she’s closer to that age. I will also limit what she can wear. I don’t think a 12 year old needs a "full face" with foundation, lipstick, and everything. If A wants to play with it when he’s little, that’s fine.
Nail polish
Her nails get such a beating now that it wouldn’t make any sense, but I'm pretty relaxed about polish. When she asks, I'll let her. A can try it for fun when he’s little if he asks, but not when he’s older.
Shaving
A will be able to shave when he needs it. That’s pretty cut and dry. On the flip side, would you let your boy have facial hair (goatee, etc)? A won't be allowed to until we have no say (college).
IMO, it’s different with girls. Girls don’t "need" to shave, it’s a beauty thing. So I believe they need to be old enough for it to make sense. At 10 years old, a girl should not be worrying about smooth legs. That said, I started asking my mom to let me shave at some point in middle school. I wasn’t allowed until 8th grade continuation. Her reasoning was that that was the first function I had to go to when it would be appropriate for me to wear nylons. So the shaving went with that. I think that makes total sense and will probably do the same with N. If N wants to try waxing in high school, I guess that would be fine. I tried it once and that was enough for me! I will teach her to pluck her eyebrows when necessary (high school).
All of this is assuming she doesn’t have issues with excessive hair. I would never force her to go around with a unibrow or feeling embarrassed by being too hairy.
Thongs and fishnets
Nope, no thongs until I don’t have a say (college). Fishnets are a definite NO WAY! Not even as Halloween costumes. I actually bought both of their costumes for next year already (way on sale) and couldn’t believe how puny the choices were for girls N’s age. There were too many that were leaning toward the "sexy" look. GAG!!
I agree with C about piercings other than ears. I can’t stop them once they’re in college. Same with tattoos. However, I will express my feelings on both, just so they know.
Krysti, in response to what you said about setting age limits, I just wanted to add my viewpoint. It has nothing to do with not wanting my kids to grow up. It’s not wanting them to grow up "too fast", meaning that I believe if you let your kids do whatever whenever, it can snowball. Girls who start wearing makeup, shaving, etc. too early don’t have those things to look forward to when they do get older and may end up wanting to do more "grownup" things even earlier. I’m not saying it’s guaranteed, just something I’ve seen in lots of young girls. Plus, I think these things are "milestones" that should be seen as special, not something they get to do right away because they asked.
ETA: All of these rules will be made known to our kids, but we will also explain to them that they are free to tell us about any questions/concerns when the time comes. I don't want them to feel that we are so set in stone that they can't talk to us about it. If it's an issue of self-esteem, I would definitely want to know and not be making my child suffer.
As far as boys having facial hair....D is almost 13 and I have seen signs of him getting dark hair above his lip as of 3 days ago.
I guess I'm this way because my parents were STRICT. Now, 30-something years later they still are. They let their opinions be known, and it pisses me off. I was on a very tight leash growing up. For years I looked like a boy because Mom has this idea that short hair is the way to go...so I was forced to look like a salad bowl head most of my childhood. I was never allowed to make decisions on my own...and I felt like a complete idiot. They have the lovely ability to still make me feel that way to this very day. I will NOT do my boys that way. Until they are 18 I will make the choices they are too inexperienced or inmature to make but the little stuff...that's for them.
Piercings... ears are fine for a daughter, if my son really wants it and for 6 months he continues to really want it and have a good reason, then one ear is fine. Other piercings will wait until they are 16/18 and can sign for it (and pay for it!!) themselves. Tattoos... DH and I each have one so we aren't anti them but I am anti- young people getting them and then regretting them. SO definitely not until my child can pay for it and sign for it.
Thongs... when my child can buy them, he or she can wear them! Until then, pretty doubtful, even though I do wear them. I didn't wear them until I was working and bought them myself. If my daughter had a formal even and didn't want a pantyline... well we'd see. As for my son, hopefully it won't be an issue!
Fishnets are inappropriate unless they are tasteful and part of a costume.
That said, so are those super short mini skirts, halter tops and the pants that have writing on the butt. For boys, my son WILL NOT sag his pants in my presence.. I'll be happy to buy a neon pink belt for him to wear that will hold them up properly! My son also will nto wear clothes that are WAY too big. A size too big for comfort is acceptable. Nothing more. Same goes for that hypothetical daughter. Oh and heels.. no stilletos or hooker heels for my daughter!
Nail polish.. probably won't let my son play with it so DH doesn't fall over dead. That said I don't he'd want to.. I never paint my nails. A girl... hmmm... to me nail polish isn't a toy but I might paint HER nails from a young age... and dress her in the frilly pageant dresses LOL!!!
I'm pretty consistent with most of you. I will not allow my daughter to wear makeup in grade school. I have a niece who feels so competitive with her girlfriends b/c some of them are allowed to wear makeup. My sister hates it. They are in 4th grade. My sister just told me yesterday that one of those little girls comes to school looking completely like a 16 year old every single day... made up with bright eyeshadow, mascara, eyeliner, lipstick and all... also wears big old heeled shoes and dangly, sparkly earrings, ,etc. Good Lord!! That will not be my child. I can clearly remember my mom wanting me to start with the clear lipgloss and clear mascara (have you seen that stuff?) She wanted me to feel like I had something to put on, but not look too "mature". I eased into it, and I think I was about 13 or so when she started letting me test the waters with it. That seems fine to me.
I'm the same as everyone else w/ my son... he won't be wearing makeup unless it's for a play or halloween or something.
Shaving.. I started around junior high... I guess my potential daughter(s) will too, unless they're super hairy like others have said.
I can't wax my eyebrows b/c it really irritates my skin (like seriously burns the skin off), so I would be hesitant to try it on my children/teens until they were really old enough to handle what it could do to sensitive skin. Plucking will be fine.
How do you feel about letting your little girls get glamour shots? --My 5 year old cousin wants to get glamour shots with her mom for her next birthday.--
Here's where I'm a little gender biased. I would take my daughter to get her navel pierced for her 16th birthday... not before, and only if she has earned it (doing well in school/staying out of trouble/mature/responsible enough to take care of it). Gavin (and any future boys) will just have to wait until he's old enough to sign the form himself. I'm not a fan of piercings on a guy... if he decides to get them when he's 18, that's fine... I won't say a word. I just won't assist him in the process.
Tattoos... I have 3, so I'm obviously not against them. I would love to go with my kids for their first, but they'll have to be able to sign for it themselves because I won't be held responsible for a permanent decision
Tats: I guess the usual thing is: under 18: can't get them. Over 18, however much advice, can't stop them in the end.