The year in retrospect

Tomorrow is my son’s first birthday. Last year at this time, I was lying in bed with him in my belly knowing that I would meet him for the very first time the next day. I was so excited and so ready for him to join us on the outside. Little did I know how much my life was about to change. I already loved him so intensely and knew that I would love him before I met him, but I never could have imagined how much.

I always dreamed of having children and for as long as I can remember I wanted to be a mommy. Finally my dream came true and he has fulfilled everything wonderful I could have wished for. It has also been tougher than I thought. Being a mother has been the most challenging and the most rewarding thing I have ever done.

I cannot believe that an entire year has gone by. They say as you get older, the years go by more quickly and I can totally understand that now. I look back to last June 29 and wonder where the time went. How could that tiny, helpless little baby that just ate and slept now be a toddler? He feeds himself, he walks, he hugs and kisses me, he babbles and sits and rolls and climbs on things. He smiles and laughs. He has temper tantrums and cries and yells when he is angry or frustrated. He points to things and plays with toys and throws balls. It’s just mind blowing how life is created and how quickly babies grow.

I never knew emotional pain as I do when my son is crying and nothing I do can help him. I never knew frustration as I do when I’ve tried everything and just when I think something works, he changes things up again. I never knew joy as I do when my son holds my face, looks me in the eyes and hugs and kisses me with his slobbery mouth. I never knew what tired was until I was up every two hours throughout the night for many months. Most importantly, I never knew the kind of love a mother feels for their child until my son was born.