sleep. would. be. nice.

Sleep. I love to sleep. But I can’t sleep. Babies don’t let you sleep. Atleast my baby doesn’t let me sleep. He’s never been a good sleeper. I was convinced that everyone else was lying, but I am pretty sure that I was just blessed with a baby that doesn’t want to miss a thing. He loves me. Yep, he wants to be with me all the time. That’s what I’ll keep telling myself to make it seem not so bad. I mean, it’s true. He cries for me and when I come, he calms. He wraps his soft arms in a tight hug around me and rests his precious head on my body and is at peace.

But the fighting of sleep, man……it’s. got. to. stop. There is always one thing after the other. Either he has teeth coming in, he has a cold, he’s overtired, he got off his schedule, he didn’t nap well during the day, or he’s just experiencing seperation anxiety. There will be a few weeks of good solid napping, but then he thinks he’s too cool to nap. There were months of him going to bed on his own, happily, but now that is over. I have to put him in his crib already sleeping and I have to sit there holding him all snuggled up for 20 minutes to get him to sleep. Then there’s the 3:00 a.m. wake up cry. It’s so pathetic, I can’t ignore him. If I don’t go in, he screams like someone is trying to kill him and it almost kills me. If I go in, he stops the second I pick him up and goes right back to sleep. Gee, which one should choose?

5:30 a.m. rolls around and I can expect another cry out from my son, the sleep depriver. This time I go in pretty much right away and sweep him back into bed with me for another couple of hours. It’s the only thing I have the strength to do at that point.

I guess it would help to go to bed at a decent hour, but that never happens. I guess the idea of a good night sleep and a late wake up is just a far off dream that will not become my reality for many many years to come. It’s ok. Although sleep would be nice, the snugglies from my baby are even nicer.